The situation I am in reminds me of Last Temptation, a classic of a book. The context is the inner torment that Christ goes through.On the outside one goes through the normal motions of life. And inside the abnormal has a field day. Everything is a source of remembrance of things lost, each act a renewal of past anguish, to exist is a curse. Of course all this without the high goal of Christ, which makes this whole endeavour even more futile.
And to contrast this with time when there was purpose, when every act was tinged with delight and divine purpose.
There is indeed the touch of tears in mortal things..